


Fading

by Kalira



Category: Lord of the Rings (Movies), Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-20
Updated: 2009-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalira/pseuds/Kalira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lover's grief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fading

As I stood on that grey cliff, looking over the rushing water that had carried my love away, I knew then that they were wrong.

They say that when the one you love dies it will burn you. The burn flaming as hot as a volcano . . . at first. That the flames die slowly away, leaving you pale and lifeless. That the fire is all that holds you, here without your love. That your light, your fire, will fade until you die of your grief.

They are wrong.

My love, my only, is dead. I can barely believe it, even now, though I know it to be truth.

But they are wrong.

I do not burn. The fire does not hold me here, flaming hot with desire for revenge. The fire does not consume me, nor is it all that is left of me.

They are wrong.

They say that when the light of your life has departed you will see no other’s light. Feel no other’s touch.

They are wrong.

I see my friends, my companions. I feel their worry for me. I feel their own grief at the death of my love. I see their lights, but dim, as if far off. Too far for the light to do anything but taunt me. Taunt me and remind me of that which I have lost.

They are wrong.

They say that you feel nothing. Nothing but your loss, your grief, your pain, that unquenchable, aching and burning hole in the fabric of your soul.

They are wrong.

They say that you feel dulled, as a blade over-sharpened. They say no other can touch you, not truly. No other can reach your heart.

They are wrong.

I have not been dulled. I have been sharpened. So impossibly sharp that I cut myself on the shards of my heart, shattered as it is by my pain. I feel the others, though not many here dare to touch me, whether out of the fear they mistakenly hold for my kind, or pity for my grief, which is bared for all to see in a way I have never bared myself. Never, for anyone but he. I feel them, fleetingly, upon the surface of my heart, but there is no room for anything but he. And my pain.

They are wrong.

I do not burn. I freeze.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fanfiction written ever - at least that made it to text rather than purely in my head as I ran around rewriting things with characters.
> 
> I know the subject here is used a _lot_ , but . . . well, for one thing, this story hit me all at once, literally sending me running for a keyboard, and the first version was written in less than fifteen minutes. Also, see: my first fanfiction.
> 
> I've thought about cleaning it up a little bit since I first posted it, but it was my first story, and I loved it then, still do, and I think I like leaving it as it is. A testament to my beginnings, mayhap. I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless.


End file.
